First

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You were my first
            I hope you didn't realise at the time
            fumbling, flustered, faltering
                       you probably did

Totally different from what I expected
            fear in my eyes
            and in yours
                       till the end

Chaos followed by silence
            a silence so complete, so pure, so absolute
            
            
            and then back to work
            replaying events in my head
                                                         for a week

Things are different now
            but I won't forget
            you never do
                                 your first unsuccessful resuscitation 

 Image result for empty hospital bed

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