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Going Viral

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Memories of working in Sierra Leone: I’ve had enough of this. Their voices start to blend into the mechanical monotony of the air conditioning unit. Sitting opposite each other at the far end of the table, they gesticulate like policemen directing traffic at a busy junction. “I’m just going to get some fresh air, I’ll just be outside” I say as I begin to shuffle past them to the door. They pause their conversation to theatrically rearrange the furniture; ensuring I don’t come within a couple of metres of them as I go past. As the door opens, the stale heat envelops me. I light a cigarette and make my way over the cobbled courtyard to a welcome area of shade. We’d just got a call to say the little boy had died. The news was like a sucker punch. Hit after hit after hit had been raining down but this had come when we were looking the other way. He’d been through so much. From the day he arrived at Kerrytown, he’d never been far from death, but his malnourished body had foug...

Overspend versus Underfund

I get it. You're probably sick and tired of reading political rants at the moment. But I'm also sick and tired of reading media reports about the 'deficits' of NHS trusts in the media. What are these trusts up to - wasting their money saving peoples' lives and whatnot. The difference between underfunding and overspending rarely seems to be clarified in articles so I'm going to try one of these analogy things I've been seeing a lot of lately. Here goes: Say I want to set a budget for food for me, Amy and the kids each week. But let's pretend I'm not allowed to set the budget myself, I've got to run it past my bank manager. Let's say he says I'm allowed £50 / week. Seems like it's not really enough right, but we'll get by. We'll be a bit creative and try and get by on a bit of goodwill from others too. As the kids get older, they'll need more food, and as we have more kids, we'll definitely need more. So it'd make se...

Is Dappy happy?

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Costadinos Contostavlos. Grime artist and headwear connoisseur. Question is: Is Dappy happy? A. B. C. D. E. Answers overleaf

Raise Your Voice

It's pretty easy to take your voice for granted. We live in an age where it seems everyone has a voice - where anyone on the internet is free to give their opinion about pretty much anything. But that's not always true. At times it can appear that there aren't people talking out about issues that matter. The ability to speak up is essential to keep sufficient scrutiny on those in power.  (Although if you're a contestant on X-factor it's probably worth learning to keep quiet a bit more often) RAISE YOUR VOICE When I was little I had a big voice It was great, he went everywhere with me We had loads of fun together. But as I got bigger, my voice got smaller I was told to keep quiet, to stop making a fuss And then when I wanted my voice, when I really needed him, he wasn’t there Some people never have a voice Other people have theirs taken away from them How can you speak for them if you don’t have one yourself? How can you help them get th...

For Jamie

I was trying to explain to our four year old son why I was heading off to Africa for a couple of months to do some humanitarian work, and ended up writing my thoughts down a bit more formally so I could get them straight in my head. FOR JAMIE When I was young I watched the stars And wondered if there’s life on Mars I thought it really would be ace To live my life out there in Space I imagined us - all cast astray Our tiny rock in the Milky Way Spinning with an awesome power At over a million miles per hour. And I realised just how small we seem A humble part of the grandest scheme Inconsequential – or so I thought With time so long but life so short When I was young it seemed to me The simplest way for humanity To survive in our small patch of Space Was to unite -    one human race! I thought: “Who cares what tiny part of this tiny rock hurtling through the Universe you come from? We’re all in this together! Together we c...

Where does the Sun go at Night?

This question has baffled scientists for centuries. Now, in the 21st century, we are getting close to finding an answer. Here is the latest evidence, in poem format: WHERE DOES THE SUN GO AT NIGHT: Where does the Sun go at night? I really hope that he’s alright I’m worried as I have been told The Sun is very very old I asked my Dad, he said “Don’t fear He’s in the Southern Hemisphere” But I’m not sure, and that’s because I also asked my friend from Oz - He said my Dad should change his tune As in the night, they see the Moon Where is he then? I’ve had some thoughts  I’ll need to check with astronauts (I hope I find some time to quiz them About our super solar system) If I were the Sun and had to choose I’d just chill out and have a snooze

A Poem About Cheese

I really like cheese. It's not deep, it's not meaningful but it's true. Scientists have shown that cheese contains all the major food groups. Here is a poem about my love of cheese: CHEESE IS MY FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT Cheese is my favourite type of fruit From Chile, Greenland or Beirut There’s no dispute, you can’t refute That cheese is my favourite type of fruit Waxy skin or grated fine, Taken with a glass of wine, A cracker? No I must decline, Just by itself will be divine. Cow or Camel, Yak or Goat Any cheese will get my vote Moose, or Sheep, or Buffalo, Spready? Steady! Let’s go! Red or yellow, white or blue Grilled on toast, or in fondue It smells of roses, or of old shoe? I’ll eat any cheese, I’m telling you! Except Parmesan I don’t really like Parmesan